InsaneJournal

Current location:	gramma's
Current mood:	blank
Current music:	nones :(
Entry tags:	death is the ultimate end

i'd end my days with you/in a hail of bullets
lately, i've been thinking a lot about death. i've been sort of obsessed with death since i was little. i used to act out death scenes in my room with my best friend, long dramatic love scenes that ended in him kissing my cheek, and saying he loved me.

i was always the one to die.

even now, i'll have to go out to my dad's shed, my grandmother's garage and a thought of death will pop into my head. "what if a spider jumps at me, i scream and it goes down my throat?"

"what if an escaped convict is in there, waiting for someone to kill."

"what if i fall into a portal leading into an alternate universe where human's are slaves to demons or monkeys or something even more horrible."

some of my death scenes don't exactly make sense.

but my most common death scene is that i get shot. it doesn't matter where or why, but i wake up, either from daydream or nightmare, in a sweat. i feel the rivets of sweat and think it's blood.

i'm kinda a weird fuck.

signing off,
Hope(lessly hopeful)